In the wee small hours of the morning, just weeks before her father’s death, Jackie had the great fortune to stumble upon Karin Slade from Funerals by Design.
“Heartbreakingly, hours earlier, the nursing home had suggested I consider making funeral plans for my darling dad,” says Jackie. “Struggling to come to terms with this while being in the midst of COVID, all I could imagine was how dire and sombre the funeral would be with our small family and a few friends sitting 1.5m apart in a large, cold crematorium chapel.”
“No one would be able to hug or console each other and the whole thing filled me with dread.”
“Resigned to the fact that I had no choice, I started surfing the net for help and sending off enquiries to funeral homes and caterers. One email was to Karin Slade at Funerals by Design and I mentioned that I was planning a funeral at a funeral home in the western suburbs of Sydney.”
“Karin rang me back and her first question to me was ‘why do you want to use a funeral home?’
“I was a bit taken aback, but she then explained that a funeral could actually be held anywhere… which was completely news to me.”
A funeral doesn’t have to be held a funeral home, crematorium or a church
As a caterer who specialises in wake catering and a funeral celebrant herself, Karin Slade is passionate about helping families to ensure their loved ones can “go their own way” instead of farewelling them in a “one-size-fits-all” ceremony at a funeral home.
When Karin explained to Jackie that a funeral doesn’t have to be held at a funeral home, crematorium or a church, the perfect solution began to form in Jackie’s head.
“Instantly I thought of Dad’s acreage property, his home for 25 years, and the place from where he constantly told anyone and everyone, the only way we’d get him out of there would be in a box.”
“Unlike Mum who had died the previous year and had meticulously planned her own funeral, Dad had refused point blank to discuss his farewell, other than the ‘box’ comment.”
“I realised this would be exactly what Dad would have wanted. Literally his final wish. And now I could make it happen for him.”
Jackie’s next phone call to Karin was, “Is it bad to be excited about the funeral now? He would love it to be held at his farm.”
A personalised and meaningful funeral organised in under three days
“When Jackie told me her dad’s favourite place was a large property at Grose Wold, near Kurrajong, I quickly discovered the property had been sold and settlement was impending,” says Karin.
“Malcolm had died on a Wednesday and we managed to hold the funeral on the Saturday on the farm just before it was sold. We also did everything possible to not only organise the funeral in a very short space of time…we also made this a meaningful and personalised celebration of Jackie’s dad.”
“We had his original tractor to which we hung photos. The coffee table his son-in-law and he had made together was where we sat the casket with a painting he had made. And all the flowers were from his farm and picked and placed by his family.”
“I knew there was a vintage vehicle – an MGTF – and because I had an MG and was in the MG car club I appreciated the vehicle. I encouraged them to get it out of the garage and showcase it.
“The heat was immense, so we used one of our marquees to cover the family and we used the vintage chairs from the house.”
“We carried the casket to Leanne’s beautiful hearse and drank rusty nails with him (Drambuie and scotch) in crystal glasses. Malcom was a proper English gentleman.”
A hateful occasion slowly manifested into a truly memorable and treasured day
When her dad died, Karin had been one of the first people Jackie contacted.
“We met to make the arrangements the following day and under Karin’s gentle and careful guidance the hateful occasion slowly manifested into a truly memorable and treasured day, “ says Jackie.
“As I deliberated over using a celebrant, Karin recommended Kathryn Booth. Kathryn was equally amazing and spent hours on the phone with me learning about Dad and his life. On the day of the funeral Kathryn eloquently captured the true essence of my Dad.”
“Kathryn wrote the service and coordinated it perfectly with a playlist I’d sent her of Dad’s favourite music. Kathryn did a brilliant job as celebrant and with ten songs she melded it all together beautifully. One of our great grandchildren mowed the lawn through the service and then whipper snippered. He picked a flower and gave it to me when the song beginning with ‘You don’t bring me flowers anymore’ played… loads of tears.”
“I could picture Dad giving me the thumbs up as he arrived in style for his ceremony in a vintage blue Mercedes hearse, driven by Leanne Bulloch from Dignified Transport Hearse, who was also extremely professional and I highly recommend her.”
Farewelling Malcolm in the most perfect way possible
Karin not only was the funeral director – she also catered for the entire event, including dinner for the immediate family.
“Karin did all the funeral catering for us and she even prepared and cooked dinner for our family – Dad’s favourite meal of roast beef and Yorkshire puddings. It was utterly amazing.”
“Our family all stayed the night on the farm for the last time and reminisced over photo albums until 4am!! There were trips around the grounds in the MG.”
After the funeral, when Karin delivered the ashes, Jackie was so grateful that they had not gone to the funeral home and that they had the opportunity to farewell the farm with their dad and with no time pressures, especially as the service had to be pushed back half an hour as one guest was late.
“The ceremony went seamlessly thanks to these three wonderful women and I will be eternally grateful to them all for offering me the once in a lifetime opportunity to farewell Dad in the most perfect way possible.”
